Yes, this is what defeat looks like.

When the first piece of mail arrived just before my 50th Bday 3 years ago from AARP, I didn’t give a second thought to throwing it in the garbage. Surely they had made some sort of mistake because thanks to my tri-monthly bottle of Loreal, my hair had been nowhere NEAR gray enough to get this kind of mail not to mention, how did they know I was about to turn 50? Hmmmm ... But I guess the spies from AARP saw me do this and before I knew it, there was correspondence arriving first monthly, then weekly and even started appearing in my email inbox!

Angry, I decide to go to the site to see what they had to offer. I scanned a few pages but still didn't see anything that applied TO ME nor that impressed me, other than a free tote bag for enrolling with the letters AARP emblazoned on the front to carry proudly and tell the world "Yes! I am 50 or older and I want my senior discount!".

Well later on, I decided to get back online to surf the usual stuff that a YOUNG woman of 50 surfs; skin care, exercises for back pain, The Mayo Clinic ... (???) and I noticed everywhere I went online was displaying a Google Ad for AARP. Okay, now I’m really getting pissed. NOW they have taken over my web browsing! I had to clear my browsing history, cookies and temporary files to get rid of the AARP ads being displayed wherever I went online. By now, I’m so upset I can hardly contain myself. AT THIS POINT, I WOULD NOT HAVE JOINED AARP EVEN IF GOD HIMSELF HAD TOLD ME TOO.”

It's bad enough that I can SEE myself aging. The wrinkles, the drooping, the aches and pains ... and as a self diagnosed manifestationchondriac (this is different than a hypochondriac in that I don’t always think I’m sick but if someone told me I looked like I had cancer, I’d have it by the end of the day) I dunno ... I suppose I was worried that once I opened an envelope from AARP that I might become one of them. Sort of like those pods under the bed in The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Perhaps they could have started with making turning 50 a little more ... fun? Like offering free birthday cards for your FRIENDS who are over 50; they could say, “You’re really OLD!” and then when you open it up, it would say, “I’m still not there yet but YOU certainly are ... in a big ass way! Consider joining AARP!” (haha!) OR they could have offered membership cards with our names pre-printed on them but give us the option of uploading a Glamour Shot of ourselves for the card that would read, “This is what old looks like on me, bitches!”

But no. Nothing that amusing. So after 3 years of harassment BUT finding I can get $1.20 off at Pizza Inn ... a monthly news letter, the AARP magazine AND the coveted tote bag, I finally gave in. At (soon to be) 53, I am official ...

Pancake Perry visits my work.

I got this idea from my friend Misty and had a lot of fun with it. Now I'm

thinking we can go on OTHER adventures! Yeah ... maybe I'll take him

on my vacation to Alabama! He would LOVE hanging out with my sisters!

Anyhow, Perry had a blast that day at my work, as you can tell :)

Just look at the excitement on his face!
Typical guy, goes right for the sheep!

Hanging out with Elmer (bad influence I must say, we'll have to stop this!)

Playing "Where's Waldo" Perry style.

Hide and seek on the boot wall.

Again, typical guy, here ...

He was checking his email here while I did my thing ...

He wants to be a cowboy now! Ugh ...

I think lunch was on his mind at this point ...

Getting his rap on with a string tag woman! ...

Making friends in the toy section!

Goofing off with Chrissy ...

Hanging with the birds ...

Getting brushed up on Redneck Humor ...

Nobody here but us chickens! haha.

Ooooh, he found him a ride!

Hanging with Brady at the sidewalk sale ...

Time to clock out! We were BOTH excited!

MySpace Deja vu

Just saying, I really am SO annoyed with the silly animal pics with word bubbles and all the other overly passed around: causes, dumb humor, sarcastic, religious and motivational graphics I have to weed thru on Facebook. ENOUGH ALREADY! It's like MySpace all over again. Can't people just talk for themselves? Can't they see that those copy and past memes are just a reflection of driven herd behavior and unoriginality? Is it really easier to post a graphic with witty humor written by a stranger than to say something real about you and your day? Or to share a link to something INTERESTING you found on the web? Or to share a photo YOU took? Where is the uniqueness I ask you?

Do-It-Yourself Weekend

So I splurged on myself this weekend and bought myself

The Kindle Fire. Love it! But after all of the setup and the

"getting-to-know" my Fire, I realized that I neglected to

also buy a cover for it. Why does one need a cover, you

might ask? Well, a cover allows you to hold it while you're

reading, with more ease. More like when you are holding

an actual book. Some, also allow you to prop your Kindle

for when you're watching a movie.

But alas I forgot, and had to order one online (Walmart was

out, go figure since that's where I bought the Fire from).

So, I had to improvise until it gets here. In true MacGuyver

fashion (MacGuyver: A TV series revolving around Angus

MacGuyver, who's main asset was his practical application

of knowledge and inventive use of common everyday items.)

I decided to rig something up until the real one gets here.

Here's what I came up with. I grabbed one of my old books ...

I chose this one because I like the skull and crossbones on

the cover, lol.

Then I gutted it with my trusty exacto knife. Well, only up

to page 92. The rest were safe! haha. HINT: If you ever

try this yourself, glue the pages together FIRST or else,

you'll have 92 dangly pieces to glue afterwards, TWICE and

trust me, this is no fun BUT ...

Tada! My Kindle Fire now has a temporary home!

Now the NEXT thing I noticed was that I needed a stylus,

too. Why, you ask? Well I will tell you! While on Facebook,

I noticed that it was hard to type into the keypad without

goofing it all up. So I looked online for one but was amazed

at the prices! $16.00 for a fake pen? No way!

So I went searching the apt. for a pen that I could transform

into a stylus. A pen? A REAL writing instrument? Do I even

HAVE such a primitive item? Lol. Lo and behold, I found one!

And it was metal too which was perfect since a stylus needs to

conduct electricity from your body. Good job Debi! haha.

Next, I grabbed a chunk off of my my kitchen sponge. Yes, a

sponge because to carry the electricity, you need something

that can get wet. I then shoved it into the tip of the gutted pen.

TADA x 2! I have a homemade stylus, for FREE! No more

typing errors!

And since I HATE to throw anything away that even remotely

looks like it can be transformed into something else; remember

that cardboard packaging that the stylus is setting on in the

above photo? Well that was part of the inside of the box that

the Fire came in. I flipped it over and Voila! I now have a

trusty hands free movie stand!

Yep. MacGuyver would be so proud of me right now, Lol.

You're not sick; just misinformed.

Did you know that the United States is the only country that

allows those ridiculous drug ads that you see on television?

Well it's true and it's up to Americans to not fall for the crap

that they try to push and to not become brainwashed into

thinking you have a condition that plain old exercise, proper

hygiene, diet and positive thinking can't remedy.

The human body is not perfect even though we want it to be.

Yet, the minute somebody puts a big time medical term to

something that's a totally natural occurrence for the human

body, Americans jump on it; They want to OWN it.

I'm noticing that people actually enjoy defining themselves by

the common ailments they experience. They'll bring it up un-

expectantly in the middle of a perfectly benign conversation;

Sheila: "So how was your trip to Disneyland?" Donna: "Oh,

it was okay. The boys ALL have ADHD so it was hard to keep

them under control, and me, with my Fibromyalgia; well that

made it hard to crawl in and out of all those tiny rides! Plus the

weather wasn't so great. It was cloudy so that aggravated my

chronic depression and all the walking was difficult because of

my bloating and cramps due to my Pre- Menstrual Disorder."

Otherwise, we had a good time" ...

*Rolling eyes* Could it ever occur to Donna that the boys were just

excited to be at Disneyland? That the older you get, the more

difficult it is to get in and out of small places over and over again?

That everybody gets the blues now and then and news flash! All

women get their period at some point?! Hello???

Don't let pharmaceutical companies tell you you're sick. Tell

YOURSELF that you need to get healthy and get your mind right.

You don't always need a pill to do that for you or a "condition" to

define yourself.

Lunch time ... in winter???

Okay, this is TRULY freaky, but I love it! Typically here in

Missouri we'd be knee deep in snow and ice about this time

and usually in January, I've already slipped into a massive cold

inducing depression that turns me into the biggest baby you've

ever seen; wearing 3-4 layers of clothes and even donning a

hat and gloves just to sit at the computer. But not this year!

So far, we've had one night of snow that barely amounted to

anything and up until now, nothing but sunshine! Yay me!

Oh, I know the snow will rear it's ugly head, sooner or later.

But for now, I'm am SO loving this.

Dog Day Afternoon

Only in Missouri ...

So I'm walking out of Walmart today and as I'm looking

for my car, I come across this:

We've all seen dogs that were left to sit in the car before.

Typically, they're bouncing all over the place like Ricochet

Rabbit; having an anxiety attack and barking for absolutely

no good reason. They're the one's you just have to go up to

and taunt because you know they can't get out and do

anything to you, lol.

But this guy looked like he was quite use to waiting on his

owner ...

I noticed after taking the first photo, that he wasn't a bit

shaken by a stranger, so that's when I went around the side

of the car to get him to respond. But nothing. That dog was

dead serious about either protecting that car or practicing

to be a palace guard, lol. All he would do was look straight

ahead and drool from the corner of his mouth.

Then came the clincher. Just as I snapped these photos

the owner walked up and said "No, you are NOT driving

this time!". 'Nuff said.

Photo A Day: To pee or not to pee ...

Out and about yesterday, I discovered that I could no

longer shop until I took a quick moment to visit the

bathroom. The only problem was that I was in Krogers

market, at the time. Oh sure, they have restrooms that are

used by the employees as well as the customers but getting
TO them is the part that bothers me.

First off, they're located behind those 2 big scary doors that

you always see in the meat department. You know the one's.

There's usually a HUGE scary guy in a white outfit walking

in and out of them ... blood all over him with a meat cleaver

in his hand. Kinda gives you that same sense of security as

you had while watching the movie "Midnight Meat Train" ...

Anyhow, once beyond those doors the first thing you see up

ahead is the sign "RESTROOMS" giving you a false sense

of hope because as you begin to get your bearings and start

looking around, you realize you are in the perfect setting to

to be the next "scream queen" of a Wes Craven movie.

BUT alas, you have to go ... you lock your eyes on the stairs

located just below the sign ... can you make it before the mad

butcher notices you're there? The next moments will tell ...

So off I sprint to the staircase and scurry down while

continually looking over my shoulder for "The Butcher Man".

I see the sign "Women's" and rush in, locking the door quickly

behind me. I go into the stall for a moment of relaxation before

I have to plan my escape and as I reach for the toilet paper ...

*GULP* ... This is NOT a good sign, at all. A victim before

me ... their final plea for HELP. I hope they made it ...

I consider making a "Blair Witch" type of video as I sat

there wondering what to do next. At least then, friends and

family wouldn't have to wonder why I went missing as I sit

wrapped so nicely in the meat section with a sticker that

reads "$2.69 per lb".

But I quickly ditch that idea with a sudden energy and will,

to SURVIVE! I can live thru this! I gathered my new found

guts (before the butcher could) and ran like the wind!

I burst through the doors into the unknowing faces of happy,

unaware customers as they scrutinize packages of ground

beef. If only they knew ... that could have been ME in there.

Photo A Day: The one that got away.

Yes folks, this is what it looks like to have your heart

broken ...

I decided to make a devils food cake with Dulce De Leche

frosting and I was SO excited about it, too. If you know what

Dulce De Leche is, then you know it literally takes HOURS to

make from scratch. 3-1/2 hours to be exact, not counting

the time it takes to add the other ingredients that turn it into

a frosting. Then, there's the cake to bake. All toll it took me

5-1/2 hours and then ...

Well, being the neat freak that I am I decided to wash the

bowls and utensils I used while the cake was cooling. When

all was done and as my final act before frosting my delicious

creation, and sitting here devouring it with a tall glass of milk;

I went to put the mixer back in it's place, setting

the cooling cake in the window sill. Uh, no ... not quite.

In my hurry I DROPPED the entire cake on the floor.

yes, I admit ... I had visions of scraping it all up and pressing

it back into the cake dish, lol. But good sense won, so I now

have this HUGE bowl of Dulce De Leche frosting with nothing

to spread it on. How wrong would it be to just grab a spoon ...

A photo a day

So, I've decided to start this adventure called "A photo a day" where I snap a pic of whatever trips my trigger ... every day ... even when I don't really feel like it, so nudge me if you notice that I miss a day.

I've also decided to start blogging my twisted thoughts again hence,

why you now see me here all of a sudden. Yay? Lol.

ANYHOW ... today's photo is of "Kitty". She (how I choose to see this cat since it would probably scratch my eyeballs out if I tried to confirm it's gender) is the last survivor of about 7 strays that were born to the great outdoors (the empty lot across from my apt.) over a year ago.

Because she has managed to fend off tedious raccoon attacks and the romantic advances from our neighborhood opossum, (and now sits under the car every morning waiting for me) I have decided to become her personal trainer ... kinda like "Mick" from the Rocky movies, and feed her everyday, to keep her strength up.

She still won't get much closer than 5 feet from me, but I will win her over eventually, I'm sure.

9 lives? Or just plain weird?

As a teenager we had several cats. 63 to be exact, that lived on a very big piece of property we owned.  But there was 1 that stood out from the rest. A  huge gray cat named RothChild.  


RothChild was VERY VERY mean. He would fight with our 6 dogs constantly, acquiring huge bites, scratches and scrapes. He was fearless ... even defying cars as they drove down  the 4 lanes of Greenleaf Blvd. Oh yes, he was hit a few times ... never to die but instead, collected injuries and battle scars like a proud soldier. 
Among the many and probably the worst were a missing a front leg, 1 empty eye socket, and an ear that literally hung off the side of his head and healed that way, just dangling there! lol. 
It was when a car ran over his tail that I'd had enough of the strange looking  "zombie cat". The tail had been severed flush, to his rear end and would start bleeding with every dog/cat fight he'd get into. 


Then one day, I got an epiphany. (mind you, I was only 14 at the time) I figured, you couldn't hurt this cat, can't be done! So why not cauterize his wound? So while my mother was away shopping, stuffing him head first under my arm, I heated our cast iron bacon press on the stove and pressed it to the wound. OMG, I thought he was gonna kill me, and the area where I did it, was now singed bald resembling a baboons butt lol. 
I ran after him where he escaped to the living room, trying to lick his wound and thought "oh no, now it'll get infected!" so I quickly looked around ... no bandages laying about at close hand of course, but on an end table was an RC cola bottle cap ... RC? RothChild? Hmmmm ... I grabbed the bottle cap and placed it over the wound and smacked his rear end as hard as I could. It stuck! Within 2 weeks, the wound healed around the bottle cap and it became a permanent prosthesis lol. Ahhhhh, but the story doesn't end there, lol ..... 


After a few more battles, my mother was losing her mind with worry over RC, not to mention he just looked plain scary! (worse than Church in Pet Cemetery after his resurrection, but close) She finally decided to have a neighbor take the cat; who now looked like Frankenstein with only 3 legs, a gaping black hole where one eye was missing, a dangling ear and a butt that looked like a baboons with an RC cola bottle cap in the center ... into L.A. and just drop it off. 
I'm sure the fine people of L.A. had quite a laugh when they encountered RC ... ON HIS 3 WEEK TREK BACK TO OUR HOUSE! Yep. 3 weeks later that darn cat showed up one morning, sitting in front of the garage cleaning himself. 


He later and finally met his fate from ingesting rat poison in a neighbors yard. But talk about 9 lives!

Hector unleashed!

Apparently, Hector does NOT like it when I come home late from shopping. 

He does however ... like Burger King :)

Mans (rather, womans) Best Friend

I walk through the door and throw down my backpack. I sit in my chair and turn on the computer while pulling off my boots and within seconds, "Hector" attacks!  He missed me I guess :)

Like any person with a "pet" who's home all day without your attention, you have to understand their plight and show then some love, right? The only difference here is that Hector isn't your average pet. Hector ... is a balloon.

On October 1st, 2010 which was my Birthday, my friend Stacey surprised me at work with a cake, flowers and a balloon. Well, the cake is long gone (THAT now resides on my thighs, thank you Stacey) and the flowers have long wilted. But the balloon, lives on!
For 3 and 1/2 months, "hector", as I so named him has taken on his own personality. I have no clue how he spends his day, but when I come home from work, he's usually bobbing in the corner. However, the moment he notices me, Hector sashays over to my desk to greet me. I talk to him, asking him about his day as he bobs up and down in excitement. Then, it's ON. Play time has begun and here, begins his nightly romp through the apt.

However, his nightly romps have become somewhat of a problem. His latest adventure is the first that comes to mind:
It was 3 nights ago and I was soooo tired and about 3am, I wake to the sound of scratching. I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes, but after a few seconds, I realized what is was. Hector. Hector was traveling around the apt. full speed and dragging his head along the ceiling. I couldn't stand it! I didn't have the energy to get up and make him stop, yet I couldn't fall completely back to sleep either! What an awful night that was ...
The NEXT night though, I had plans for Hector! Before bed ... I put him in the closet. Ahhhh, sleep is good I thought.
The next day when I got home from work, Hector wasn't there to greet me. *blink*blink* ...
While pondering this, I continue toward the closet to hang up my coat and there he was! OMG! I forgot to let him out of the closet before I went to work!
Well Hector upon seeing me got SO excited that he tried to rush me! Of course, my first instinct was to slam the doors shut, but I still had that darn coat to hang up! So I'm holding the doors open juuuuust enough to get my arms in there as I carefully eye Hector bobbing back and forth, length-wise across my clothes ... waiting  ... knowing, that at some point, he might have a chance! Then, just as I start to close the doors, Hector makes a dash for it! I was faster though, trapping him in between the doors as he gave me that "pitiful" look while hanging half way in and halfway out of the closet. I open the doors, ever-so-slightly to PUSH him back in when he does it! He makes his escape, AND ... off he goes ...

Since October of last year, it's been one thing after another with Hector. Sometimes, if I ignore him, he'll defiantly bob over to where "Mathom", my forest elf who sits on a tree branch in the corner of my ceiling resides. Mathom has never really done anything personally to Hector but Hector, just to get even with me, will bop right into Mathom, knocking him off of his branch onto the floor and then ... scurries across the room. (giggling to himself I imagine).

But most of the time, Hector is just fun to have around. Watching him look out of the window on a sunny day, hovering near the T.V. when we're watching a good television show, and even how cute he looks when I scold him and he turns his face to the wall and stands in the corner ... this, is life with Hector.
Find any of this hard to believe? Look below :)

Another OCD? Oh no!

I watch that show "Hoarders" on A&E where they focus on people who stock pile tons (literally) of crap in their homes to the point that they can't even walk around. It really trips me out because I am the total opposite so I can't relate at all.

I started to wonder if there was a word for this so I enlisted Google to find out. As it turns out, i'm a "Minimalist" but ohhhh, it doesn't end there lol.

As a Minimalist, I apparently lead a simple life without the need or desire for lots of stuff. Is that so bad? Works for me.

I have enough summer clothes for 10 days, same with my winter clothes. I have one pair each of boots, sandals and sneakers. The only pictures I have are stored online. I have 2 plates, saucers, bowls and glasses, one coffee cup and a mug for work ... same with the silverware. I have 1 sheet, 2 pillow cases, a blanket and a comforter. I like my walls bare and I don't have any knick-nacks barring the 2 frogs on my desk. I keep 1 pencil and 2 pens. No pets to feed. One landline phone with voicemail so no answering machine needed. I get my books from the library so I don't have buy them only to have them collect dust. Same with DVD's. My music is all online or in my iPod, no CD's to store. ! lipstick and an eyebrow pencil. 3 towels and a bath sponge.

However lol ... some say in minimalist forums that is is a form of OCD. Rubbish! I could agree if I couldn't wait to get home to find things to throw away, or spent excessively just to end up getting rid of it. But that's not the case. I just don't waste money on things I don't need or know I will never use regularly. I wear clothes for 2 seasons then they're out of my closet because they're probably worn out by then. Why have books, knick-knacks, appliances that only collect dust? Why collect entire sets of towels when you only use the bath one? Same with dishes and sheet sets.

I dunno. People can call it what they want but it sure makes my life easier. If it's an OCD then so be it but at least I have the time to sit here and blog rather than cleaning/organizing/dusting my house lol.

Midnight chain of thought ...

Ever wonder what goes on in someones head when they're alone? Here are my thoughts in a 15 minute span .....

I hate sleeping, i'll just wake up bitter as usual ..... another boring tomorrow I bet ..... Oh yeah, my book is in at the library. I'll need to walk there tomorrow ..... how in the hec can I get a car? ..... my frog is so cute ..... I have the worst handwriting of any female I have ever seen. How does one write girly? ..... I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow so I can look for a new job ..... that poptart was gross ..... I hate food period so screw it ..... if my knee's didn't hurt standing up, i'd go to the bathroom right now ..... wonder how long I can wait ..... hoarders are so selfish ..... is there nothing on TV? ..... I need friends or something ..... why am I always mad? ..... today when I got mad at Vickey I actually saw the color red. Weird ..... I dislike 95 % of the people I work with ..... I really hate liars, scammers, no-it-alls and bullshitters ..... omg I forgot to pay on my law-away ..... I wish I could paint this apt. ..... I would love to re-decorate and make it bright and happy in here ..... I need to get my lay-away out so I can have my capri's ..... I hate my legs ..... I have got to quit soda, but what else is there? ..... maybe if I read i'll stop thinking ..... i'm going to bed when this show is over ..... gotta check facebook .....

Family devotion

First thing at work today, I helped 2 couples, 50-ish or so who came in together to get one of the men in their group a pair of boots. I could see right off that there was something amiss with the actual boot buyer, Danny. For one, he had this look on his face that seemed like he was thinking hard, very hard, at no particular time and for no real reason. He walked with guarded steps, kind of slow at at moments seemed lost, and appeared very embarrassed for some reason.

His wife had a cast on her foot and hopped around lively looking at other things, not really into hanging around with Danny while he picked out a pair of boots.

The other couple was very attentive to Danny however, and with helping him find a boot that fit him well. I learned after a bit, that they were Danny's brother and sister-in-law and from the way Danny acted, he must of had some slight brain damage as they talked to him like one would to a foreigner; trying to help him understand.

Danny liked 2 pairs of boots. He must of tried them on 3-4 times each. The first pair were too snug but his favorites. The second pair fit better but the color wasn't the best.

I studied Danny for the first 30 minutes while helping him. Figuring out as we went along how to best communicate with him so we both could understand each other fully. I secretly concluded to myself that Danny and his wife must have been in a car accident or something like that. She obviously ended up with a broken foot and he, ended up with a head injury.

But after another 30 minutes and finally helping Danny choose which pair he wanted, his brother tells him "Well good deal Danny, now take off the socks that this young lady gave you, put your short ones back on and slip on your regular shoes".

Well Danny looked dumbfounded and it was then that I realized that the tasks given to him were just too many for him to remember or carry out.

Once again he looked embarrassed so I stepped in. I helped him through each step. First taking off the try-on socks, then replacing his own, then getting his shoes back on.

When all was said and done, they all walked away but the brother came back to me. He said "Thank you for your help. My brother has Dementia and you were the most patient I have ever seen anyone with him. You have no idea what your help meant to me". He then explained what Danny was going through ... at times he could remember things from when he was 16 years old, but the next minute, not even remember how to cross his legs.

Dementia. I couldn't quite figure it out, thought it had something to do with his brain, but never guessed Dementia. That explained the "thinking" look on his face. Danny is only 48 years old!

But I then realized I had seen this man before so I asked him "weren't you in here a year ago with another brother who had terminal brain cancer and had a patch over his eye?" he said "Yes I was! That was you who helped him pick out the suit he was to be buried in and even altered it so it would fit, wasn't it! I can not believe you remember him!".

I then told him that it wasn't his dying brother that I remembered so much as it was HIM, and the fact that it must have taken a lot of love and devotion to help him pick out his own brother's burial suit that day. That even knowing that soon he would lose his brother and feeling that pain, he was still there for him as he was this time with Danny. "You are such a good brother ... you are very special. How could I forget you?" I told him.

He informed me that this is how family is supposed to be and then added "but for a stranger to go out of her way to help a man with dementia, even taking off and putting on his socks for him while his own wife browsed the clothing racks, and altering a dying man's suit ... that's even more special of a person. I will always remember you too.

Family. This is a concept I have never known. I grew up with 2 brothers. One, 8 years older than me and off living his life with a family of his own by the time I was 11. The other a year younger than me.

If I were as sick as this man's brothers, would they be here for me? No. My oldest brother that I spoke of hasn't talked to me in 15 years. Ever since he moved away and got married to who use to be my best friend. My younger brother has only ever thought of himself and how he could scam people. I hadn't talked to him for 15 years also when he suddenly popped up on Myspace and at this point in his life, is supposedly trying to get off drugs after losing his wife and kids ... twice. He has yet to talked to me since that first email last year.

I would have given anything and have tried several times to be as close to my brother's as the man I told the story about. maybe that's why I cared so much for for his brother's.

So what's left one would ask? I have 4 kids! maybe they'll be there for me when I get stricken by illness. I brought them up with morals, kept them close, gave them my love. But ask (at least my girls) for help of even the simplest kind and they scatter like roaches at the sight of a can of Raid. If I were to get Alzheimer's they'd probably let me roam the interstate in my underwear without a second thought.

As of today, I feel doomed. If something happens to me I guess i'll just shrivel up and croak here in my cave feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn't I be blessed with a family? No parents to call and tell you how you're screwing up. No siblings with fond memories or crazy stories that bond families together. Nothing. I feel so terribly cheated. Me, myself and I.

Take care of your brother's and sister's. Be there for them. Call them, go over and bug them. Be glad you have them and hope and oh yes pray that they'll be there for you when you're like Danny.

Facebook is an amazing thing!

I have to thank my dear friend Reginald Johnson for turning me onto Facebook.

Yes, I whined that "it was too confusing" and only stuck my big toe in every once in a while.

But he kept on me and now ... i'm hooked.

I've managed to re-connect with so many people on Facebook. People that I have so many good memories of.

The 60's-70's:

My friend Reggie from grade school who remembers that I have small feet after 40 some years, Lillie, My next door neighbor growing up. Edward, My first love. My foster family which includes Pop Donel, Reginald, Deirdre, Michelet and Adrienne.

The 80's-2000's

Friends from back home Like Tony, Maureen and Michelle.

Family that I haven't seen in years, Samantha, Maegen, Gabriel, Cynthia, Jenny, Isabelle &Thomas ...

My Paltalk buddies. Women that I met online up to 10 years ago ... Lori, Bluey, Tiff, Tiggs, Laura and many more ... that I lost contact with at some point.

I also love how easy it is now to keep in touch with the most recent friends i've made.

My Blogger pals, Marcel and Scott ... and lest I forget Deano :)
My hobby friends ... Crystal, Luna, Linda, Gina, Paula and Crystal ...

And my 2 best friends here in MO. Carrie and Barbara.

Most amazingly, i'm now in contact with the family that I've never even met in person yet! Sisters, Janet, Cindi, Cathy, Sheree and Lisa ... cousins, nieces and nephews, inlaws ... too many to name!

I also get a kick out of the new friends i've made due to Facebook. All of my Farmville and Farmpal friends and friends of friends ... Yassin, Sharon, Sandra, TP and Cathy ... they all make me smile daily.

I'm even migrating my kids on here. I have Angel so far, but i'll get Leah, Lisa and Cody E. eventually lol.

How amazing huh? Everyone that means something to you in one place! Maintaining relationships can't get any easier than this :)

I played "Complete the sentance" Haha!

1) My uncle once: ... declared his name was "Wolf" and howled for 20 minutes in front of a convenience store. (He later checked into a clinic).

2) Never again in my life: ... will I date a guy who says "but I don't do that any more".

3) When I was five: ... I hated Santa Clause. I didn't trust a guy who had to wait until I was asleep to give me pleasure.

4) High School was: ... only 2 blocks from the mall!

5) I will never forget: ... the phone number we had when I was a child. Why? When I can't even remember my work number? ... I have no clue.

6) I once met: ... a man from nantuckit ...

7) Once, at a bar: ... I got threatened by a group of bikers for playing "Love Hurts" over 10 times in a row.

8) Next time I go to church: ... I won't sit next to the lady with 4 kids who all have colds and can't seem to sit still for one minute and giggle every time the pastor says the word "hell".

9) You know I'm lying when: ... I say "ok, ok, I can't freaking lie damnit! ..."

10) A better name for me would be: Lucy Ricardo

11) If I ever go back to school I'll: ... become a butt doctor.

12) You know I like you if: ... I don't roll my eyes 5 minutes into our conversation.

13) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: ... not part of my everyday volcabulary. Ok, well maybe Darwin but ...

14) My ideal breakfast is: ... one cooked by Denny's!

15) If you spend the night at my house, DO: ... the dishes, vacumm, the laundry ...

16) The world could do without: ... stupid stuff that hangs from your rear view mirror.

17) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: ... be forced to converse with a crack head.

18) Paperclips are more useful than: ... any weapon imaginable if used with a rubber band.

I think way too much ...

I got this email tonight in my inbox ... obviously not caught by my bulk mail folder probably because the subject line went like this: Heya Goobrgrl what's up? The email was as follows:

Hey you! nice talking to you the other day!
here's that site I was telling you about. I got some of these for myself cause they were on sale, you should check out the site! This is so cool. They are offering huge discounts now on Penis Enhancment Patches!
I know like 10 guys dude who have already stocked up on these. Goobrgrl! Don't be left behind!

Now why in the hell would they spam a name like "GoobrgGRL" with something pertaining to males? What buttmunches! lol.

But it got my mind to wandering ... as it often does ... what if I did have a penis? I certainly wouldn't need a patch for it!
Not my penis! I would have a huge manly penis I would ... a big-assed 9 incher with burly inch deep ridges that looked like goodyear tire tread, and veins that pulsated constantly like a discoteque strobe light!
And it would have a name ... branded into the side of it to show it's great power. HURK! yes! ... Hurk! That would be it's name!
Women would shriek at the site of it! *eeek!" (sound effects) ... men would bow humbley in it's presence ...
Ahh ... if only to have one for a day ... I would put it in everything. Miracle Whip, strawberry jam, even peanut butter! I would whip it out smugly, slapping it down on the coffee table with a thunderous crash when company came over just to watch them gasp in amazement.
Penis patch! Pfffttt! "We don' nee' no steenking penis patch!".

This is too unreal

This is the craziest stuff I have ever heard. Have you ever seen the commercials on tv that talk about the advantages of certain misc. drugs like allery medications and cold meds? Well, while I was attempting to nap a moment ago, I had the tv on, trying to fall asleep to it, and heard this faintly in the background:

Blah blah blah ... if you have SEVERE PROBLEM ACNE ... blah blah blah ... ASK YOUR DR. IF ... blah blah blah ... some side effects may be:

... Difficulty breathing; closing of your throat; swelling of your lips, face, or tongue; hives, hallucinations, abnormal behavior, or severe confusion, headache, drowsiness, dizziness, or clumsiness; nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or constipation, depression, muscle aches or pains; vivid or abnormal dreams; memory loss ...

*PERK*

OMG! just to get rid of a zit!!!!!?????
But wait! Hold the phone cuz this is the best part:
... Soon after, a rash may appear - most often on your upper body or head. It may look like acne or dry skin. This is a common reaction. Your doctor may prescribe drugs to help heal the rash. If you do get a rash, do not stop taking the medication unless instructed to do so by your doctor.
Sweet Jeezus! Isn't this what the you were trying to avoid in the first place?????
So lemme get this straight ... I have acne right? ... and I wanna get rid of it so I take a medication that not ONLY can cause me to go into cardiac arrest, fall down or bump into stuff after having nightmares, explode from an abnormal bowel movement and not even know who or where I am while i'm doing it and then probably shrivel up and die, BUT can also make me look 10 times worse than I started out?????
What the HEC are they thinking?! And then they say whatever you do, do NOT stop taking the drug cuz their gonna prescribe even MORE drugs when the bad stuff starts gawd bless their little hearts!
To get rid of a zit! Do you hear me? A zit!

The "Inky Pinky Spirits".

My grand daughter. I think she's psycho. Haily, who I call "Moochie" is 4 years old and has begun to either develope an imagination, as kids will do, or, she has lost her ever-loving mind.
She tells me tonight on the phone, that she is being followed and threatened by "The Inky Pinky Spirits". Her mother (my daughter Lisa) tells me that Moochie is standing in the middle of the living room with a pot on her head, a scarf around her neck and wielding a spatula. So I tell Lisa to put Moochie on the phone:

Me: "Moochie, what are you doing?"
Moochie: "I waiting! The Inky Pinky Spirits are comin' to get me!"
Me: "Who the hec are The Inky Pinky Spirits?"
Moochie: They are the BIG spirits with fur on their hats and green teeth, and they're trying to get me to do stuff!"
Me: What are they trying to get you to do?"
Moochie: They want me to mess up my room and slap my mommy in her big head!"
Me: Complete silence.
Moochie: "Do you know them?"
Me: "No Moochie, I don't know them, but why do you think they want you to mess up your room and slap your mommy in her big ... uhhh ... in her head?"
Moochie: "Cuz, cuz, cuz ... my mom ... my mom won't let me call Auntie Leah in Ohio!"
Me: "But Moochie, didn't you tell The Inky Pinky Spirits that Auntie Leah doesn't have a phone?????"
Moochie: "Yessssss I did grandma dangggg! *sounds of annoyance on the other end* But they said she probably has a cell phone!"
Me: *drops head to desk* ...
Moochie: "You wanna hear what they made me say?"
Me: "Sure, why not ..."
Moochie: "Me, Hailey Elizabeth Zamora who is going to kendygarden next time after the bus comes to my house if my mom wakes me up, says I have honor and justice for all to The Inky Pinky Spirits hallelujah!"
Me: "Moochie, let me talk to your mother please ..."

This is where I tell Lisa to watch her back and that her daughter needs therapy. Actually, I believe her imagination comes from her parents letting her watch R rated movies all the time ... but therapy couldn't hurt at this point.

Where did THAT one come from???

I recieved a comment to a post in another of my blogs that has me going "say what?". Here it is as follows:

gmc said...

dear debi,
it was funny to read your autoportait as goobergirl but are your sure that such a wonderful girl like you need to be a warrior only interested by wars for nothing existing in this world (truth, justice and the american way); is it not for thoses reasons (instead of basically controlling oil resources) that everyday american soldiers are dying in iraq?
truth and justice are not parts of the american way; the american way is "in greed we trust"
snowing kisses from france! 7:02 AM

*BLINK*BLINK*

So, I go to his blog to explain (which i'm now almost-kinda-maybe-sorta-outta the mood to do NOR do I think I have to) and it's in French! Sheesh! And I took Spanish in school instead! *Shaking head*.

Ok, so gmc, if you come back to read my blog again, listen carefully ...

First off, I thank you very kindly for visiting my blog and greetings to France !!!!!
Let me explain my bio to you. It is the opening dialog from the old Superman Tv show back in the 1950's with Superman's name substituted for my nickname Goobrgrl.
Even tho we stand for the same things, Goobrgrl is not really Superman.
The original dialog is below:

"Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful that a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound!"
"Look! Up in the sky!"
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's - SUPERMAN!" "Yes, it's Superman - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman! Who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way!"

So don't get your panties in a bunch ... *rolling eyes*. I, am not Superman. Superman was not about war, nor was that dialog suggesting such.
*takes a deep breath, here we go ...*
... he came here as a baby from the planet Krypton and when he grew up he decided to use his superhuman powers for the benefit of humanity and was ALL about helping people to overcome bad situations and saving the world from disaster and harm!
*BIG inhale, gasping for air sits up straight and puts on a smile*
So see? *cheezy grin, soft voice* ... I was not making light of all those who have died in the war in Iraq ... so calm down little buckaroo and y'all come back and see me sometime :)

Times have SO changed.

I was talking with a friend about her 27 year old daughter and the girls' recent confession that she had lost her virginity at the age of 12. My friend was mortified to hear this. Not just because 12 is such a young age, that was bad enough, but because the girl couldn't even remember the event. It seems she's had experiences since then that over-shadowed the event. That made my eyebrows raise too!

I'm not niave nor a prude. I know what young people do and have been doing since even I was a teenager. But, I at least remember my first time for heavens sake.

*A memory bubble forms above my head* ...

I was 17. We were in his parents yellowish colored Impala on Signal Hill. "Easy" by The Commodors had been playing on the radio (no, I wasn't easy at all believe me, I put him off for a year and a half) and I remember feeling so much heart-felt emotion that night. I had on a multi-colored blue striped V-neck sweater top that buttoned up the front; I remember this top because he wore "Brute" cologne and I wouldn't wash that top for weeks afterwards forcing my mother to throw it out lol. 32 years later, I can still remember everything that was spoken in that car and every emotion I felt that night. Right or wrong ... I remember it all.

Why? because I was "in love" ... which sadly, young people really aren't so much nowadays (from what I'm hearing) when they choose to give of themselves for the first time.

I won't get into the moral or religious aspect of when a person is supposed to lose their virginity.

People have different beliefs and opinions about that. What concerns me is why it happens the way it does and how it differs so from my generation.

My friends' daughter told her that she did however remember that she felt she was way behind her other friends and was stressing quite a bit over when she would finally catch up and be able to tell of her experience. She also remembered that she was more popular in the school year that followed it seemed, so that gave her the incentive to be even more promiscous.

I felt sorry for my friend and the saddness she felt for her daughter in that ... a moment, that was supposed to be so special regardless of right or wrong or what was to happen in the future, was lost to peer pressure, anxiety and what a lot of parents say is the desensitization of our youth over the past 2-3 decades.

That, is a whole other issue that i'll have to get into some other time, but my friends' story is a sad one nonetheless, which prompted me to call my kids and ask them how much they allow their children to know and the things they teach them about love, feelings and relationships.

I can now see I have my work cut out for me after some of the things I heard ...

The songs in my head

Did you ever hear a song and then have it stick in your head the entire day? You know where it came from and after singing it 50 times in your head, you start cussing the person who played it to begin with.

Well, what I wanna know is, where do the songs come from that up wake up with?

Every morning I wake with a new one and I have no clue who/what planted it in my subconsience!

This mornings song is STILL with me. It's the "Fruit of the loom unwear song; You Can't Overlove Your Underwear" lol. Don't ask me where it came from because as far as I know, that commercial is ancient and hasn't aired in over a year!

I have a sneeeeeaky suspicion, that the sandman, well, at least MY sandman, is a dead DJ who likes to play jokes lol.

Here ya go, just so i'm not the ONLY one stuck with it lol ... go ahead, I DARE YA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rozPVy0Rx-s

daddy wears his t-shirt in the cold kentucky rain...while a boy in pure white briefs looks out the foggy window pane...even though his hamster dies he finds comfort this i swear....cuz YOU CANT OVER LOVE YOUR UNDERWEAR! CUZ COMFORT AGE IS FOUND IN TEDDY BEARS...theres no labels hanging anywhere...no you cant ever over love..over love ur underwear

Dueling Banjo's

I put that song (from the movie "Deliverance") on my iPod months ago in an attempt to expose myself to more of the country culture. Tonight I finally listened to it while I walked to the C-store down the street and O-M-G. With earplugs in, I got the full impact of the song ... every banjo lick, pluck by pluck ... and on Bishop ave in Rolla Mo ... I almost had a freaking stroke lol.

That tune is HOT! Now that is one ass kickin' tune I tell you! I made it just about to the Donut King and my heart started racing so fast and hard that I had to stop for a minute just get get steady again lol. Dueling Banjo's ROCKS!

Line dancing, a step into the afterworld.

Every Saturday night I watch this show called "St. Louis Country" which takes place in a bar/club in St louis, and hosts country music videos in between watching a huge floor of people line dancing. Actually, I don't really watch it, I have it on behind me so I can do my computer work without having on a real show that i'm tempted to be distracted by. But occasionally I need to take a break and I will give it a few minutes of my attention. Here's what I have discovered: People who line dance look bored as hell. If not, then they're the walking dead lol.

Back in the 70's, we use to do the original line dance ... the hustle! Now that was fun. You could change it up, shake your groove thang and get crazy with that one. But country line dancing? No way. Arms do not move while line dancing i've noticed, they hang/dangle at ones sides. There's no booty shaking, no smiling like they're having agreat time, and everyone looks like they're really thinking of what their gonna make for dinner tomorrow lol.

But the names of these dances actually sound like they offer the dancer a really good time ... givin' enough booze that is; The Cotton eyed Joe, Tush Push, Funky Ranch Slide and the Mardi Gras Mambo ... but watch 'em dance them lol. The movements/steps do NOT live up to the names, that's for sure. I'm thinking that country music, in a bar setting, puts the listener in a zombie-like trance rendering them powerless to fight the urge to stand amid several rows of people and move expressionless to the drawl and twang of country music. Uhhhh, no thanks. I can get that same kinda exercise walking from my desk to the bathroom thank you. Lol.

Why did I get a cell phone?

Do I really want to stress myself out this much? As a person who campaigns to educate the modern world of rude cell phone users (which is another whole rant entirely) ... I now have one. Yep, I have entered the 21st century. Go figure. I really have no major use for one considering I hate talking on phones period and rarely even talk on my landline. I'm a texting online kinda girl :)

Now, i'm not technologically challenged on a normal basis. I can operate any office equiptment you put in front of me and computers ... well there's not a thing I can't do on one and I can recite html and css in my sleep.

But "The cell phone" is another story. Was it this difficult for every new user?

My biggest problem at this point in my communication learning adventure, is trying to change the ringtone from "Club Mix", which sounds like an array of classic gay club tunes ... No offence to gay people intended bytheway, 1/3 my friends are gay for goodness sake, but I don't want to hear wave versions of Cher tunes when someone calls me lol. All I want is a classic bell ring, is that too much to ask for? But where to change that setting is totally eluding me. I have studied the manual like nobody's business, all 83 pages of it but when I click this and click that as it explains ... it's not the same! So for now it remains on vibrate in my pocket lol.