His wife had a cast on her foot and hopped around lively looking at other things, not really into hanging around with Danny while he picked out a pair of boots.
The other couple was very attentive to Danny however, and with helping him find a boot that fit him well. I learned after a bit, that they were Danny's brother and sister-in-law and from the way Danny acted, he must of had some slight brain damage as they talked to him like one would to a foreigner; trying to help him understand.
Danny liked 2 pairs of boots. He must of tried them on 3-4 times each. The first pair were too snug but his favorites. The second pair fit better but the color wasn't the best.
I studied Danny for the first 30 minutes while helping him. Figuring out as we went along how to best communicate with him so we both could understand each other fully. I secretly concluded to myself that Danny and his wife must have been in a car accident or something like that. She obviously ended up with a broken foot and he, ended up with a head injury.
But after another 30 minutes and finally helping Danny choose which pair he wanted, his brother tells him "Well good deal Danny, now take off the socks that this young lady gave you, put your short ones back on and slip on your regular shoes".
Well Danny looked dumbfounded and it was then that I realized that the tasks given to him were just too many for him to remember or carry out.
Once again he looked embarrassed so I stepped in. I helped him through each step. First taking off the try-on socks, then replacing his own, then getting his shoes back on.
When all was said and done, they all walked away but the brother came back to me. He said "Thank you for your help. My brother has Dementia and you were the most patient I have ever seen anyone with him. You have no idea what your help meant to me". He then explained what Danny was going through ... at times he could remember things from when he was 16 years old, but the next minute, not even remember how to cross his legs.
Dementia. I couldn't quite figure it out, thought it had something to do with his brain, but never guessed Dementia. That explained the "thinking" look on his face. Danny is only 48 years old!
But I then realized I had seen this man before so I asked him "weren't you in here a year ago with another brother who had terminal brain cancer and had a patch over his eye?" he said "Yes I was! That was you who helped him pick out the suit he was to be buried in and even altered it so it would fit, wasn't it! I can not believe you remember him!".
I then told him that it wasn't his dying brother that I remembered so much as it was HIM, and the fact that it must have taken a lot of love and devotion to help him pick out his own brother's burial suit that day. That even knowing that soon he would lose his brother and feeling that pain, he was still there for him as he was this time with Danny. "You are such a good brother ... you are very special. How could I forget you?" I told him.
He informed me that this is how family is supposed to be and then added "but for a stranger to go out of her way to help a man with dementia, even taking off and putting on his socks for him while his own wife browsed the clothing racks, and altering a dying man's suit ... that's even more special of a person. I will always remember you too.
Family. This is a concept I have never known. I grew up with 2 brothers. One, 8 years older than me and off living his life with a family of his own by the time I was 11. The other a year younger than me.
If I were as sick as this man's brothers, would they be here for me? No. My oldest brother that I spoke of hasn't talked to me in 15 years. Ever since he moved away and got married to who use to be my best friend. My younger brother has only ever thought of himself and how he could scam people. I hadn't talked to him for 15 years also when he suddenly popped up on Myspace and at this point in his life, is supposedly trying to get off drugs after losing his wife and kids ... twice. He has yet to talked to me since that first email last year.
I would have given anything and have tried several times to be as close to my brother's as the man I told the story about. maybe that's why I cared so much for for his brother's.
So what's left one would ask? I have 4 kids! maybe they'll be there for me when I get stricken by illness. I brought them up with morals, kept them close, gave them my love. But ask (at least my girls) for help of even the simplest kind and they scatter like roaches at the sight of a can of Raid. If I were to get Alzheimer's they'd probably let me roam the interstate in my underwear without a second thought.
As of today, I feel doomed. If something happens to me I guess i'll just shrivel up and croak here in my cave feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn't I be blessed with a family? No parents to call and tell you how you're screwing up. No siblings with fond memories or crazy stories that bond families together. Nothing. I feel so terribly cheated. Me, myself and I.
Take care of your brother's and sister's. Be there for them. Call them, go over and bug them. Be glad you have them and hope and oh yes pray that they'll be there for you when you're like Danny.
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