1) My uncle once: ... declared his name was "Wolf" and howled for 20 minutes in front of a convenience store. (He later checked into a clinic).
2) Never again in my life: ... will I date a guy who says "but I don't do that any more".
3) When I was five: ... I hated Santa Clause. I didn't trust a guy who had to wait until I was asleep to give me pleasure.
4) High School was: ... only 2 blocks from the mall!
5) I will never forget: ... the phone number we had when I was a child. Why? When I can't even remember my work number? ... I have no clue.
6) I once met: ... a man from nantuckit ...
7) Once, at a bar: ... I got threatened by a group of bikers for playing "Love Hurts" over 10 times in a row.
8) Next time I go to church: ... I won't sit next to the lady with 4 kids who all have colds and can't seem to sit still for one minute and giggle every time the pastor says the word "hell".
9) You know I'm lying when: ... I say "ok, ok, I can't freaking lie damnit! ..."
10) A better name for me would be: Lucy Ricardo
11) If I ever go back to school I'll: ... become a butt doctor.
12) You know I like you if: ... I don't roll my eyes 5 minutes into our conversation.
13) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: ... not part of my everyday volcabulary. Ok, well maybe Darwin but ...
14) My ideal breakfast is: ... one cooked by Denny's!
15) If you spend the night at my house, DO: ... the dishes, vacumm, the laundry ...
16) The world could do without: ... stupid stuff that hangs from your rear view mirror.
17) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: ... be forced to converse with a crack head.
18) Paperclips are more useful than: ... any weapon imaginable if used with a rubber band.
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