Murder in apt. #35

Picture this: 

It's 3:22 am, The Debi is sleeping soundly when she is awakened to a continuous thumping sound. In semi-darkness, she turns toward the sound and she can make out her cohabiter - beating a mouse over the head with a broom. After the last thud, she shrugs her shoulders saying "okay" and turns around to go back to sleep. 

Ahhh, but this incident is not over. Suddenly, an overwhelming odor takes over her senses --- bleach! She rises and heads for the door --- fresh air - NOW! She flips on the light to see what warranted trying to kill her in her sleep, and witnesses a scene that looks like something from the movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Apparently the mouse 

(yes, mouse. Not <-------------"a rat this big" ------------>) 

needed to be pulverized during it's execution. Blood and mouse body parts are everywhere and it's murderer - is attempting to clean up the crime scene. 

The Debi reaches for her jar of peanut butter and a spoon and calmly scrolls thru Google News shaking her head. She is up for the night.

It-was-just-a-mouse .....

Right Under My Nose

It's funny how we sometimes never notice what is right there in our face.

On the way back from my walk from Panera's, I made a pretty cool discovery. No, it wasn't the book store, I see that all the time. THIS picture is just to show you that my apartment is the white building just ahead and - I like that red tree. (smile)

On the other side of the book store and almost across from my apartment is THIS house. Cool huh? But again no, this isn't the amazing discovery! Lol. 

I have always liked the strangeness of this house tho and now that it's vacant, I decided to take a walk behind it to maybe find a window or two to peer into, and take a looksie. Unfortunately I couldn't see much but as I went further ...

... things started to get weird. First I spot this side door hanging open. I took a picture of the inside of it but it didn't come out. It was just a small, shed-like area, full of junk. Then I saw the balcony up above. Hmmm, now that could be cool but what is that below .....

It appears to be some sort of outdoor storage area - but for what?

Then a spot of green catches my eye up ahead, so I go further ...

What the heck is that? AstroTurf? And is that cement?

As I turn back around, I notice what I've just walked thru. How the heck did I miss that? A BIGGER area of cement and Astro Turf!  Could this possibly be what I think it is? 

I dunno, but I am going to find out so - off I go thru the over-grown foliage to explore!

The following pictures MAY tell you what I found ...

                                      

An unknown animal ran past me so I ran out and headed across the street to my apt. Haha!

Once there I looked the property up on Google Maps and sure enough ...

   

It's an old abandoned miniature golf course! 

It was right there under my nose for the past 9 years and I never even noticed it! 

I couldn't help but think how cool it would be if it were a functioning business, right now. 

I probably would be there ALL the time :)

My Plant, My Friend.

Ok so soon, I'll be starting this years doorstep vegetable garden. As soon as the chance of frost passes, I'll have my tomatoes and peppers out there and ready to go. Ooooh, and I can't wait! It's so rewarding to be able to snatch a tomato or a banana pepper when you need one, fresh, from right outside your front door!

But I also want to do something in-doors so I decided to take on ... 

house pet plants!

Now in the past, I had never been any good with houseplants ... they came to my place to die a slow, agonizing death. But since I did so well with the vegetables last year, I decided to give it a whirl.

 

So far, I am roomies with 2 Pothos that actually, I got over a month ago when they were both knee high to a tennis shoe. But they survived and have grown quite a bit since they came here so I felt it safe to name them, now that the threat of their possible death is over with, lol. 

So, making their debut on Blogger, meet ... 

Sir Frasier Leafalot ...

And Niles McPlanterbritches!

And this is my newest friend, a Croton named ... 

Audrey B. Palmbottom (the B stands for bodacious :)

So tune in for the fun summer adventures of my new plant friends and see what's growing in my doorstep garden! Later!

Yes, this is what defeat looks like.

When the first piece of mail arrived just before my 50th Bday 3 years ago from AARP, I didn’t give a second thought to throwing it in the garbage. Surely they had made some sort of mistake because thanks to my tri-monthly bottle of Loreal, my hair had been nowhere NEAR gray enough to get this kind of mail not to mention, how did they know I was about to turn 50? Hmmmm ... But I guess the spies from AARP saw me do this and before I knew it, there was correspondence arriving first monthly, then weekly and even started appearing in my email inbox!

Angry, I decide to go to the site to see what they had to offer. I scanned a few pages but still didn't see anything that applied TO ME nor that impressed me, other than a free tote bag for enrolling with the letters AARP emblazoned on the front to carry proudly and tell the world "Yes! I am 50 or older and I want my senior discount!".

Well later on, I decided to get back online to surf the usual stuff that a YOUNG woman of 50 surfs; skin care, exercises for back pain, The Mayo Clinic ... (???) and I noticed everywhere I went online was displaying a Google Ad for AARP. Okay, now I’m really getting pissed. NOW they have taken over my web browsing! I had to clear my browsing history, cookies and temporary files to get rid of the AARP ads being displayed wherever I went online. By now, I’m so upset I can hardly contain myself. AT THIS POINT, I WOULD NOT HAVE JOINED AARP EVEN IF GOD HIMSELF HAD TOLD ME TOO.”

It's bad enough that I can SEE myself aging. The wrinkles, the drooping, the aches and pains ... and as a self diagnosed manifestationchondriac (this is different than a hypochondriac in that I don’t always think I’m sick but if someone told me I looked like I had cancer, I’d have it by the end of the day) I dunno ... I suppose I was worried that once I opened an envelope from AARP that I might become one of them. Sort of like those pods under the bed in The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Perhaps they could have started with making turning 50 a little more ... fun? Like offering free birthday cards for your FRIENDS who are over 50; they could say, “You’re really OLD!” and then when you open it up, it would say, “I’m still not there yet but YOU certainly are ... in a big ass way! Consider joining AARP!” (haha!) OR they could have offered membership cards with our names pre-printed on them but give us the option of uploading a Glamour Shot of ourselves for the card that would read, “This is what old looks like on me, bitches!”

But no. Nothing that amusing. So after 3 years of harassment BUT finding I can get $1.20 off at Pizza Inn ... a monthly news letter, the AARP magazine AND the coveted tote bag, I finally gave in. At (soon to be) 53, I am official ...

Pancake Perry visits my work.

I got this idea from my friend Misty and had a lot of fun with it. Now I'm

thinking we can go on OTHER adventures! Yeah ... maybe I'll take him

on my vacation to Alabama! He would LOVE hanging out with my sisters!

Anyhow, Perry had a blast that day at my work, as you can tell :)

Just look at the excitement on his face!
Typical guy, goes right for the sheep!

Hanging out with Elmer (bad influence I must say, we'll have to stop this!)

Playing "Where's Waldo" Perry style.

Hide and seek on the boot wall.

Again, typical guy, here ...

He was checking his email here while I did my thing ...

He wants to be a cowboy now! Ugh ...

I think lunch was on his mind at this point ...

Getting his rap on with a string tag woman! ...

Making friends in the toy section!

Goofing off with Chrissy ...

Hanging with the birds ...

Getting brushed up on Redneck Humor ...

Nobody here but us chickens! haha.

Ooooh, he found him a ride!

Hanging with Brady at the sidewalk sale ...

Time to clock out! We were BOTH excited!

MySpace Deja vu

Just saying, I really am SO annoyed with the silly animal pics with word bubbles and all the other overly passed around: causes, dumb humor, sarcastic, religious and motivational graphics I have to weed thru on Facebook. ENOUGH ALREADY! It's like MySpace all over again. Can't people just talk for themselves? Can't they see that those copy and past memes are just a reflection of driven herd behavior and unoriginality? Is it really easier to post a graphic with witty humor written by a stranger than to say something real about you and your day? Or to share a link to something INTERESTING you found on the web? Or to share a photo YOU took? Where is the uniqueness I ask you?

Do-It-Yourself Weekend

So I splurged on myself this weekend and bought myself

The Kindle Fire. Love it! But after all of the setup and the

"getting-to-know" my Fire, I realized that I neglected to

also buy a cover for it. Why does one need a cover, you

might ask? Well, a cover allows you to hold it while you're

reading, with more ease. More like when you are holding

an actual book. Some, also allow you to prop your Kindle

for when you're watching a movie.

But alas I forgot, and had to order one online (Walmart was

out, go figure since that's where I bought the Fire from).

So, I had to improvise until it gets here. In true MacGuyver

fashion (MacGuyver: A TV series revolving around Angus

MacGuyver, who's main asset was his practical application

of knowledge and inventive use of common everyday items.)

I decided to rig something up until the real one gets here.

Here's what I came up with. I grabbed one of my old books ...

I chose this one because I like the skull and crossbones on

the cover, lol.

Then I gutted it with my trusty exacto knife. Well, only up

to page 92. The rest were safe! haha. HINT: If you ever

try this yourself, glue the pages together FIRST or else,

you'll have 92 dangly pieces to glue afterwards, TWICE and

trust me, this is no fun BUT ...

Tada! My Kindle Fire now has a temporary home!

Now the NEXT thing I noticed was that I needed a stylus,

too. Why, you ask? Well I will tell you! While on Facebook,

I noticed that it was hard to type into the keypad without

goofing it all up. So I looked online for one but was amazed

at the prices! $16.00 for a fake pen? No way!

So I went searching the apt. for a pen that I could transform

into a stylus. A pen? A REAL writing instrument? Do I even

HAVE such a primitive item? Lol. Lo and behold, I found one!

And it was metal too which was perfect since a stylus needs to

conduct electricity from your body. Good job Debi! haha.

Next, I grabbed a chunk off of my my kitchen sponge. Yes, a

sponge because to carry the electricity, you need something

that can get wet. I then shoved it into the tip of the gutted pen.

TADA x 2! I have a homemade stylus, for FREE! No more

typing errors!

And since I HATE to throw anything away that even remotely

looks like it can be transformed into something else; remember

that cardboard packaging that the stylus is setting on in the

above photo? Well that was part of the inside of the box that

the Fire came in. I flipped it over and Voila! I now have a

trusty hands free movie stand!

Yep. MacGuyver would be so proud of me right now, Lol.

You're not sick; just misinformed.

Did you know that the United States is the only country that

allows those ridiculous drug ads that you see on television?

Well it's true and it's up to Americans to not fall for the crap

that they try to push and to not become brainwashed into

thinking you have a condition that plain old exercise, proper

hygiene, diet and positive thinking can't remedy.

The human body is not perfect even though we want it to be.

Yet, the minute somebody puts a big time medical term to

something that's a totally natural occurrence for the human

body, Americans jump on it; They want to OWN it.

I'm noticing that people actually enjoy defining themselves by

the common ailments they experience. They'll bring it up un-

expectantly in the middle of a perfectly benign conversation;

Sheila: "So how was your trip to Disneyland?" Donna: "Oh,

it was okay. The boys ALL have ADHD so it was hard to keep

them under control, and me, with my Fibromyalgia; well that

made it hard to crawl in and out of all those tiny rides! Plus the

weather wasn't so great. It was cloudy so that aggravated my

chronic depression and all the walking was difficult because of

my bloating and cramps due to my Pre- Menstrual Disorder."

Otherwise, we had a good time" ...

*Rolling eyes* Could it ever occur to Donna that the boys were just

excited to be at Disneyland? That the older you get, the more

difficult it is to get in and out of small places over and over again?

That everybody gets the blues now and then and news flash! All

women get their period at some point?! Hello???

Don't let pharmaceutical companies tell you you're sick. Tell

YOURSELF that you need to get healthy and get your mind right.

You don't always need a pill to do that for you or a "condition" to

define yourself.

Lunch time ... in winter???

Okay, this is TRULY freaky, but I love it! Typically here in

Missouri we'd be knee deep in snow and ice about this time

and usually in January, I've already slipped into a massive cold

inducing depression that turns me into the biggest baby you've

ever seen; wearing 3-4 layers of clothes and even donning a

hat and gloves just to sit at the computer. But not this year!

So far, we've had one night of snow that barely amounted to

anything and up until now, nothing but sunshine! Yay me!

Oh, I know the snow will rear it's ugly head, sooner or later.

But for now, I'm am SO loving this.

Dog Day Afternoon

Only in Missouri ...

So I'm walking out of Walmart today and as I'm looking

for my car, I come across this:

We've all seen dogs that were left to sit in the car before.

Typically, they're bouncing all over the place like Ricochet

Rabbit; having an anxiety attack and barking for absolutely

no good reason. They're the one's you just have to go up to

and taunt because you know they can't get out and do

anything to you, lol.

But this guy looked like he was quite use to waiting on his

owner ...

I noticed after taking the first photo, that he wasn't a bit

shaken by a stranger, so that's when I went around the side

of the car to get him to respond. But nothing. That dog was

dead serious about either protecting that car or practicing

to be a palace guard, lol. All he would do was look straight

ahead and drool from the corner of his mouth.

Then came the clincher. Just as I snapped these photos

the owner walked up and said "No, you are NOT driving

this time!". 'Nuff said.